God

With age, God developed a severe case of identity crisis. At first, he became convinced that he was not entirely real -- that he only existed within people's imaginations. However, after some years of soul-searching, he decided that imaginary existence was not altogether different from . . . well, that there was simply no other kind of existence. Then he also learned that he wasn't entirely sure whether he was a man or a woman -- after all he himself created woman, so at least some part of him must've been woman enough to conceive of one . . . But that was only the first symptom of complete personality breakdown. Some thought he was benevolent, others that she was merely omniscient, third pictured a tiny particle of an atom. Himself, God didn't know what to think -- especially since he depended so much on the opinions of others. God cried and shook his fists and had to be locked up in a mental institution for a while. He's still there, drugged up and tied to his bed, patiently awaiting discovery of some new behavior modifying psychotropic drug or philosophy.