Opera

Nights February spends in front of a television set, watching rented opera. The next day, she posts reviews on her increasingly popular blog. She evaluates the distinguishing characteristics of the singers' voices, the costumes and stage set, the direction, even DVD production qualities. Many complex criteria are involved in each write-up. Of course, February makes it all up; she rarely makes it through more than the first five minutes of an opera with her eyes open. "It's not that I find opera boring," she explains to a close personal confidante, "not at all. I find opera fascinating. It's the rhythmic quality of this kind of music that immediately lulls me to sleep. I have such pleasant dreams with opera flashing on the background!" So all of February's well-received reviews are based on the first five minutes of music and the rest is made up of dreams. Usually she dreams of snow-covered mountain slopes somewhere in the Swiss Alps and a lonely skier in an orange jumpsuit.